Old and New Jokes

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarians. One of
the dogs was hanging its head and sighing. The second dog turned to him
and asked What are you in here for, buddy? The dog looked depressed,
Im in big trouble, he said, My owner has a really nice sports car with
leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he
took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat.
Now hes having me put to sleep.

I know how you feel, said the second dog. My owners have a beautiful,
expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from
work and I just couldnt help myself…I shit all over their nice carpet
and ruined it. Theyre having me put to sleep, too.

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. So what are you
here for? they asked. Well, said the third dog, my owner likes to do
her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she
knelt down to vacuum under the sofa, and I just couldnt help myself. I hopped
on her back and had the ride of my life!

The other dogs nodded in sympathy, So shes having you put to sleep, too,
huh? No, said the dog, Im having my nails clipped.