Top 10 Things You Never Hear in Church

10. Hey! Its my turn to sit in the front pew.9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.7. Ive decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, lets pay our pastor so he can live like we do.4. I love it when we sing hymns Ive never heard before!3. Since were all here, lets start the service early.2. Pastor, wed like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

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