Accountants who dont understand how much it costs to make me look this cheap
Trying to play guitar with three-inch fingernails
When the country declares my hair a fire hazard
Confused Dalai Lama constantly asking for theme park royalties
You cant get a wig repaired because Lettermans got some kind of hairpiece crisis
Rhinestone rash
Whenever he visits my gift shop, Garth Brooks tries to shoplift stuff under that big hat
Smartass emcees who introduce you by saying, and now here they are – Dolly Parton!
When the Super Bowl is over, winner never says, Im goin to Dollywood
Nobody notices Ive got a great ass, too