Top ten signs youre not going to win a medal

  1. Instead of music, youre ice dancing to Larry Kings radio show
  2. Right this minute youre shoveling driveways for beer money
  3. Youre the only speed skater not wearing pants
  4. Two words: Team Fiji
  5. Instead of the Olympic Village youre staying at the Lillehammer Days Inn
  6. Youre in the biathlon and you exchanged your rifle for a Toys R Us gift certificate
  7. It takes a bottle of corn oil to get you in and out of your luge suit
  8. You trained for the last 4 years by throwing hatchets at your living room wall
    (Here, the famous clip of Dave throwing axes into his living room wall was shown)
  9. Your ice dancing partner is Roseanne Arnold
  10. Your name is Tonya Harding

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