Traditional Jews versus Reform

Traditional: Farm animal must be killed by ritual slaughterer using a sharply honed knife that must not have a single nick on its blade.

Reform: Farm animal must be told that it has the right to an attorney.

Traditional: Will not combine meat with milk.

Reform: Will not combine meat with chocolate milk.

Traditional: One set of dishes for meat, another set for dairy.

Reform: One set of dishes exclusively for cheeseburgers.

Traditional: Hire shabbos goy to perform religiously prohibited tasks.

Reform: Hire Orthodox Jew to perform religiously required tasks.

Traditional: Try to concentrate on prayers, achieve sense of being in the presence of the divine.

Reform: Try to figure out when to stand up, when to sit down, and what page everyone is on.

Traditional: Women required to sit in synagogue balcony, apart from men.

Reform: Women and men sit together, davening suggestively.

Traditional: Strong disapproval of women rabbis.

Reform: Strong disapproval of topless women rabbis.

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