09
Nov

Translating Menspeak

When He Says – He Really Means ———— – —————- Do you have the time? – to go to bed

Hello – Lets cut the talk and go have sex.

How are you? – in bed, I mean.

Id like a discreet relationship. – I want sex, but Im married.

Ill be out of town for a few days. – Ill be spending time with with the wife.

Im a novelist. – I have 10 unpublished books.

Im coming off a long relationship. – My wife is divorcing me.

Im consulting. – Im looking for a job.

Im divorced. – I just slipped off my wedding ring.

Im in television. – I fix them.

Im involved in banking. – Im a bank guard.

Im self-employed. – I just got fired.

Im sorry I flirted with your sister. – Im sorry I got caught.

Im thinking of relocating. – I cant find a job locally in this town.

I cant leave my wife just yet..soon. – Be patient forever.

I enjoy reading. – Playboy and Penthouse.

I have the Midas touch. – I install mufflers.

I like a woman who is intelligent. – As long as she acts like Im smarter.

I love opera. – I want sex, but Ive seen an opera once.

I play the market. – Safeway

I work high up in an executive office. – Im a window washer.

I work with computers. – Im a cashier at a gas station.

Looking for a satisfying relationship. – I want sex.

My business is really hot right now! – I hand out towels in a steam room.

My job keeps me running. – Im a messenger.

My wife and I are separated. – Shes at home and Im here at the bar.

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