Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago: Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you.

Seen in a health food store. Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot

Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense.

I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own.

At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.