01
Oct

Universal poker

(Order): Is each here? Does each have his opposite?

(Chaos): I am here, but my opposite is you.

(Order): Huh?

(Evil): Dont let him bug ya. Were here.

(Truth): My opposite is not here.

(Good): Is your opposite Lies?

(Truth): My opposite is Void. He couldnt make it.

(Evil): )snicker( Figures!

(Order): Agh! How are we going to seat five! This table is made for six!

(Evil): Just take out his chair and move over. Sheesh!

(Good): I have the cards.

(Evil): Ive got the chips.

(Truth): I have the beer.

(Chaos): I have the cards!

(Order): Shut up.

(Order): Whose deal is it?

(Evil): Do ya gotta ask that EVERY time?

(Truth): It is Goods deal.

(Good): OK, five card draw … uh, everything is wild.

(Evil): How can anyone win if everything is wild?

(Good): No ONE can win, but we all can call ourselves winners if …

(Order): I like this game.

(Evil): This is pointless.

(Truth): It is time to deal.

(Good): Here we go! Your bet, Truth.

(Truth): Five.

(Order): Five and raise you five.

(Evil): Dont you morons get it? It doesnt matter how much you bet!

(Order): I like ten better.

(Evil): )sigh( Call.

(Chaos): I fold.

(Evil): YOU CANT LOSE!

(Chaos): I still fold.

(Good): OK, Ill call. How many, Truth?

(Evil): Whats the point in taking more cards?

(Truth): I will keep the cards I have.

(Order): I will take two.

(Evil): Why?!?

(Order): I didnt like those.

(Evil): None for me.

(Chaos): Ill take six.

(Good): Sorry, you folded. Dealer keeps his. Bets?

(Evil): Oh, just get this over with.

(Order): But now we have to bet!

(Evil): Any money you put in, youre just gonna get back!

(Truth): I am in agreement with Evil. Let us show our cards.

(Truth): I have five aces.

(Order): I have five ace of spades.

(Chaos): I have a three.

(Good): Please be quiet. I also have five aces. We all win.

(Evil): Hold it, bub. Six aces, readem and weep.

(Good): Where did you get that card?

(Truth): He stole it from Chaos.

(Evil): You know the rules, boys. The pots mine.

(Good): That was a stupid game.

(Order): Whose deal is it?

(Truth): The dealer progression is opposite the deal. Chaos deals.

(Chaos): Whee!

(all but Chaos): )groan(

(Chaos): Eleven card stud-holdem with threes, eights, jacks, and kings wild…fives count as fours, fours count as nines, and queens dont count unless there is a prime numbered spade showing …

(Order): I fold …

[from rec.humor.funny.reruns. Written by Brian Cash (bcash@nortel.ca), and originally appeared in talk.bizarre]

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