Universal Poker

<Order> Is each here? Does each have his opposite?
<Chaos> I am here, but my opposite is you.
<Order> Huh?
<Evil> Dont let him bug ya. Were here.
<Truth> My opposite is not here.
<Good> Is your opposite Lies?
<Truth> My opposite is Void. He couldnt make it.
<Evil> >snicker< Figures!
<Order> Agh! How are we going to seat five! This table is made for six!
<Evil> Just take out his chair and move over. Sheesh!
<Good> I have the cards.
<Evil> Ive got the chips.
<Truth> I have the beer.
<Chaos> I have the cards!
<Order> Shut up.

<Order> Whose deal is it?
<Evil> Do ya gotta ask that EVERY time?
<Truth> It is Goods deal.
<Good> OK, five card draw…uh, everything is wild.
<Evil> How can anyone win if everything is wild?
<Good> No ONE can win, but we all can call ourselves winners if…
<Order> I like this game.
<Evil> This is pointless.
<Truth> It is time to deal.
<Good> Here we go! Your bet, Truth.
<Truth> Five.
<Order> Five and raise you five.
<Evil> Dont you morons get it? It doesnt matter how much you bet!
<Order> I like ten better.
<Evil> >sigh< Call.
<Chaos> I fold.
<Chaos> I still fold.
<Good> OK, Ill call. How many, Truth?
<Evil> Whats the point in taking more cards?
<Truth> I will keep the cards I have.
<Order> I will take two.
<Evil> Why?!?
<Order> I didnt like those.
<Evil> None for me.
<Chaos> Ill take six.
<Good> Sorry, you folded. Dealer keeps his. Bets?
<Evil> Oh, just get this over with.
<Order> But now we have to bet!
<Evil> Any money you put in, youre just gonna get back!
<Truth> I am in agreement with Evil. Let us show our cards.
<Truth> I have five aces.
<Order> I have five ace of spades.
<Chaos> I have a three.
<Good> Please be quiet. I also have five aces. We all win.
<Evil> Hold it, bub. Six aces, readem and weep.
<Good> Where did you get that card?
<Truth> He stole it from Chaos.
<Evil> You know the rules, boys. The pots mine.
<Good> That was a stupid game.
<Order> Whose deal is it?
<Truth> The dealer progression is opposite the deal. Chaos deals.
<Chaos> Whee!
<all but Chaos> >groan<
<Chaos> Eleven card stud-holdem with threes, eights, jacks, and
kings wild…fives count as fours, fours count as nines,
and queens dont count unless there is a prime numbered
spade showing…
<Order> I fold…

[Ed: written by Brian Cash (bcash@nortel.ca), and originally appeared in talk.bizarre]

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