The US Army is currently in the midst of a sexual harassment scandal. It started at a small base in Aberdeen, Maryland. These are some things you might either see in the news, or hear about:

As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officers stunning, blonde staffers was transferred from Aberdeen Maryland to an obscure base in Utah. The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment. The girl sighed and said, Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will be be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?

Then there was the newly promoted Army Captain who promptly had his female Quartermaster on the carpet because she forgot to include a sofa in his office.

Im telling you Jody, Ive never been happier said the one recruit to the other. I have two Drill Sergeants madly in love with me. One is just fabulous – handsome, sensititive, caring and considerate. What in the world would ya need the 2nd Sgt for? Jody asked. Oh, Carol replied, Well, Sgt. James is both straight AND single.

Tracy, a new recruit, was complaining about her recent date with a Drill Sergeant. He called me a slut she said, tears in her eyes. Thats terrible! What did you do? asked her fellow recruit. Well, I told him to get the hell outta the motel room, and … to take all his buddies with him.

The Army still doesnt understand how to conduct a decent scandal. They dont even have a cool/catchy name for the incident as yet. Hell, even the Navy, several years ago, had the good sense to use the double entendre Tailhook for theirs.

You have to give the Base Commander at Aberdeen credit though for responding quickly to charges of widespread fraternization between Officers and recruits by issuing a directive to all personnel that such conduct was strictly against all regulations. The memo was signed personally by the Commander, and co-signed by his aide, a Pvt. Lolita Bootsie DeCamp.