A ventriloquist walks into a small Australian town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog and figures hell have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: Gday mate. Good looking dog… mind if l speak to him?

Local: The dog doesnt talk, you stupid man.

Ventriloquist: Hey dog, hows it going old mate?

Dog: Doin all right.

Local: (Look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist (pointing at local): Is this man your owner?

Dog: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and lakes me to the river once a week to play.

Local: (Look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Local: Uh, the horse doesnt talk either… I think.

Ventriloquist: Hey horse, hows it going?

Horse: Cool.

Local: (Absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist (pointing at local): Is this your owner?

Horse: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Local: (Total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if l talk to your sheep?

Local: The sheeps a bloody liar!