Maria had just gotten married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin.

On her wedding night, staying at her mothers house, she was nervous.

But her mother reassured her. Dont worry, Maria. Tonys a good man. Go upstairs and hell take care of you.

So up she went.

When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and said, Mama, Mama, Tonys got a big hairy chest.

Dont worry, Maria, said her mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. Hell take good care of you.

Up she went again.

When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs.

Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother, Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and hes got hairy legs!

Dont worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tonys a good man. Go up stairs and hell take good care of you.

Up she went again.

When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.

Mama, Mama, Tonys got a foot and a half!

Stay here and stir the pasta, said her mother.

This is a job for Mama.