Woman at dentist (adult)

A woman is in a dentists office…

Dentist: Maam, that tooth looks very bad, and Im going to have to pull it.

Woman: Get my tooth pulled? Id rather go through childbirth.

Dentist: Well, make up your mind. I have to adjust the chair.

One of *my* favorite countryfied sayins from Brother Dave Gardner:

Son, Im gonna hit you on your head so hard, youre hum like a ten-penny finishin nail hit with a greasy ball-peen hammer.

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