Womens English:

Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No

Im sorry = Youll be sorry We need = I want Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = Youll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure go ahead = I dont want you to. Im not upset = Of course Im upset, you moron! Youre so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Youre certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper… Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = Im going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today youre really not going to like. Ill be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Is my butt fat? = Tell me Im beautiful. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, youre dead.] Was that the baby? = Why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep. Im not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important. The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Everything = My PMS is acting up. Nothing, really = Its just that youre such an asshole. ==========================================================

Mens English:

Im hungry = Im hungry. Im sleepy = Im sleepy. Im tired = Im tired. Do you want to go to a movie? = Id eventually like to have sex with you. Can I take you out to dinner? = Id eventually like to have sex with you. Can I call you sometime? = Id eventually like to have sex with you. May I have this dance? = Id eventually like to have sex with you. Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you. Whats wrong? = I dont see why your making such a big deal about this. Whats wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? Whats wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. Im bored. = Do you want to have sex? I love you. = Lets have sex now. I love you, too. = Okay, I said it… wed better have sex now! Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before. Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesnt look that much different! Lets talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then youd like to have sex with me. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. (while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freakin dress and lets go home! I dont think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.