Words From Famous Women …

Im not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know Im not dumb…and I also know that Im not blonde. – Dolly Parton

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, Ive done my job. – Roseanne

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We cant decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. – Rita Rudner

He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant – Carol

Leifer

Ive been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. – Wendy Liebman

Im not going to vacuum til Sears makes one you can ride on. – Roseanne

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me its because its cold in there. And Im like: How did my mother know THAT? – Wendy Liebman

I think-therefore Im single – Lizz Winstead

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. – Hedy Lamarr

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. – Elayne Boosler

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesnt itch. – Gilda Radner

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.- Maryon Pearson

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel. – Bella Abzug

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. – Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. – Gloria Steinem

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. – Gloria Steinem

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. – Katharine Hepburn

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. – Marie Corelli

If men can run the world, why cant they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? – Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. – Zsa Zsa Gabor