You use your own saliva to clean your childs face.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

Your kid throws up and you catch it.

Someone elses kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

Youve mastered the art of placing large quantities of
pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud
in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since its the only one your
child eats.

You cant bear the thought of your sons first girlfriend.

You find yourself cutting your husbands sandwiches into cute
shapes.

You cant bear to give away baby clothes – its so final.

You hear your mothers voice coming out of your mouth when
you say, NOT in your good clothes!

You count the sprinkles on each kids cupcake to make sure
theyre equal.

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You donate to charities in the hope that your child wont get
that disease.

You hire a sitter because you havent been out with your
husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the
kids.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

You say at least once a day, Im not cut out for this job,
but you know you wouldnt trade it for anything.