You know youre getting old when …

  1. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and youre barefoot.
  2. The porn video you bring home is Debby Does Dialysis.
  3. Your sweetie says, Lets go upstairs and make love, and you answer, Honey, I cant do both!
  4. A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.
  5. Getting a little action means I dont need to take any fiber today.
  6. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
  7. You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

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