You might be a Republican if…

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You think proletariat is a type of cheese.
Youre a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
Youve ever uttered the phrase, Why dont we just bomb the sons of bitches.
Youve ever said, I cant wait to get into business school.
You answer to The Man.
You dont think The Simpsons is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You fax the FBI a list of Commies in my Neighborhood.
You dont let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of sexual deviance.
You scream Dit-dit-ditto while making love.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
Youve ever said Clean air? Looks clean to me.
You spend free time reading The Bell Curve.
Youve ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesnt want to contribute to society.

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