Your Starship Captain Might Be a Redneck If…

Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.

He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.

You have a shuttle called Billy Joe Bob.

He refers to Klingons as Critters.

He refers to Photon Torpedoes as Popguns.

He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil.

He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.

He says Got your ears on, good buddy instead of open hailing frequencies.

He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.

He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.

He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.

He says Yee-Ha! instead of Engage.

He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.

He insists on calling his executive officer Bubba.

He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of Bassmaster.

He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.

He paints the starship John Deere green.

He refers to a Pulsar as a Blue Light Special.

He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a swamp.

His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.

He sings Lucille instead of Kathleen.

His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls.

He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge.

His idea of a gas giant is that big ol XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies.

He sets phaser to Cajun.

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