17
Nov

Youve Read Oedipus The King…


Now read:

Lesser Known Sequels of the Classics
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Metamorphosis II


Gregor Samsa goes through another mystical transformation,
this time from a giant cockroach into a lounge singer. The
few people who still felt any compassion for him are now
totally repulsed, and he moves away to Vegas.


Taming of the Shrew II: Whos the Shrew?


The antics begin when Petruchio and Katherines daughter
Bianca (named after her aunt) comes of age and turns out to
be quite a shrew herself. Katherine at first tries to convince
her daughter that good manners are the right way, then turns
back to shrewishness herself to show her daughter how
unattractive it can be. This all builds to the hilarious
climactic scene, where Petruchio beats them both into
submission with an ax handle.


Huck Finn II


Huck has grown up and propspered as a certified public
accountant. He decides he likes civilzation after all, though
he never does take to wearing shoes, thus his nickname, the
barefoot bookkeeper. Jim leaves the Indians and gets his
law degree, and eventually defends the King and Duke who are
up on a racketeering charge.


Lysistrata II


Once again, Lysistrata convinces the women of Athens to
boycott sex, this time to convince the men not to lay around
and watch wrestling on Sundays. Cinesias tries to convince
Myrrhine to lie with him while watching wrestling, but she
teases him and then refuses. Some of the men try goats, but
decide they dont like them. Eventually the men give in.


The Farther Adventures of Robinson Crusoe


Robinson Crusoe uses the money he inherited from the
Brazilian plantation to start up a small cruise company. One
day while taking out five passengers on a three hour tour to
the Isle of Wight, a storm breaks out. He and his first mate
Friday (a mighty sailing man) do their best, but lose control
of the boat. Eventually, it crashes on a deserted island.
The rest of the book describes the antics that occur when
they almost get rescued several times, but Friday screws it
up each time.


Undeath of a Salesman


Willy Loman comes back from the dead as a vampire. His
hypnotic control over his customers reestablishes his life
as a salesman. He convinces Biff (no relation to B1FF) to
go into professional football, where he becomes a big star
but loses respect for his father when he does an advertizement
for nylons.


The Divine Tragedy


In this controversial sequel, Dante travels through New
York City, Billings (Montana), and Salt Lake City. The
controversy is over the origin. Joseph Smith claimed that
Dante dictated this book to him in dreams, which literary
critics have shown a lot of skepticism about.


The Bible II


Of the Dead Sea Scrolls, these were the only ones that
were deliberately lost. They recount the tale of how Jesus
descended back out of Heaven and became a lounge singer.
Even his staunchest followers deserted him for this, and
when Peter finally left he moved to Vegas and got a regular
gig at the Tropicana changing water into wine.

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