Famous Beer Quotes!

Beer and the quotes it has helped create over the years…

I feel sorry for people who dont drink. When they wake up in the

morning, thats as good as theyre going to feel all day.

–Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they arent drunk, theyre sober.

–William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

–Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said youd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

–Ernest Hemingway

Youre not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

–Dean Martin

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you cant say it.


No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or as good as drink.

–G.K. Chesterton

Time is never wasted when youre wasted all the time.

–Catherine Zandonella

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

–Ambrose Bierce

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.


Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.

— Ross Levy

A woman drove me to drink and I didnt even have the decency to

thank her.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

–W.C. Fields

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.


If God had intended us to drinkbeer, He would have given us stomachs.

–David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

–Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

–Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

–Michelle Mastrolacasa

Id rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

–Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

–Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

Sooooo, lets all get drunk, and go to heaven…

–Brian ORourke

You cant be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it

helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

–Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol

has taken out of me.

–Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.


Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

–Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

–Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

–Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

–Humphrey Bogart

Why is Australian beer served cold?

So you can tell it from urine.

–David Moulton

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

–Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

–Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and

oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital

ingredient in beer.

I drink to make other people interesting.

–George Jean Nathan

All right, brain, I dont like you and you dont like me – so lets just do this and Ill get back to killing you with beer.

–Homer Simpson

Most viewed Jokes (20)