Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Four hundred and sixty-two:

twelve to investigate Clintons involvement in the failure of the old bulb,
twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry,
sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D,
thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs,
fifty-three to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb,
forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead, and
two hundred and eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet.