17
Aug

Tips for RednecksGeneral* Never take

Tips for RednecksGeneral
* Never take a beer to a job interview.
* Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
* Its considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
* If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
* Even if youre certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.Dining Out
* When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and
pour slowly so as not to bruise the fruit of the wine.
* If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.Entertaining in your home
* A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
* Do not allow the dog to eat at the table…no matter how good his manners are.Personal Hygiene
* While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using ones OWN truck keys.
* Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.
However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
* Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a womans jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.Dating (outside the family)
* Always offer to bait your dates hook, especially on the first date.
* Be aggressive. Let her know youre interested: Ive been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years
ago.
* Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say
10:00 PM; Others might say Monday. If the latter is the answer, it is the mans responsibility to get her to school on time.Theater Etiquette
* Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
* Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they cant hear you.Weddings
* Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
* Kissing the bride for

Most viewed Jokes (20)