Our local cable company recently took over one of the channels and began 24-hour adverstising on it.

One of the programmes is called The Dating Network (TM) and consists of people placing personal ads on for this hour that its on every night.

Cable advertises the show on other stations, and the ad goes something like this: Successful singles dont do to singles bars! They dont go on special singles cruises! No, successful singles use The Dating Network (TM)…

Now, correct me if Im wrong, but isnt the object of going to bars and cruises and The Dating Network (TM) to be *un*successful at being single…?

Turning back to football (some call it soccer!), our local ABC affiliate, the one that blocks out NYPD Blue with Baywatch cause NYPD Blue really isnt quality programming, refuses to cover the World Cup.

They announced that they didnt feel that the audience would be strong enough to show the matches, so theyre instead showing movies during the game. Movies like Blind Date (it had Bruce Willis – if you didnt see it, dont feel left out, cause no one else did either) and Mannequin 2: On the Move.

Boy, Id much rather watch these winners than see a sporting event that takes place once evry four years and for the first time is being played in this *great* country of ours…

-Ben Scripps
Central Michigan University