Guide to Womanspeak
She says English
You want You want
We need I want
Its your decision The correct decision should be
obvious by now
Do what you want Youll pay for this later
We need to talk I need to complain
Sure…go ahead I dont want you to.
Im not upset Of course Im upset, you
moron.
Youre…so manly You need a shave and you sweat a
lot.
Youre certainly attentive tonight. Is sex all you ever
think about?
Im not emotional! And Im not overreacting!Im on my
period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. I have flabby
thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. I want a new
house.
I want new curtains and carpeting, furniture,
wallpaper…
Hang the picture there No, I mean hang it
there!
I heard a noise I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? Im going to ask for something
expensive.
How much do you love me? I did something today youre
really not going to like..
Ill be ready in a minute. Kick off your shoes and
find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? Tell me Im beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. Just agree with
me.
Are you listening to me!? [Too late, youre
dead.]
Yes No
No No
Maybe No
Im sorry. Youll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? Its easy to fix, so youd
better get used to it.
Im not yelling! Yes I am yelling because I think
this is important.
In answer to the question Whats wrong?
The same old thing. Nothing.
Nothing. Everything.
Everything. My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really. Its just that youre such an
asshole.
I dont want to talk about it. Go away, Im still
building up evidence against you.