Q: How do we know that G-d has a sense of humor?

A: When he gave us the land of milk and honey he knew that we were lactose intolerant!

Barry Abrams

Good question…

Do dogs have fleas, or do fleas have dog?

hmmmm.

Yo mama so fat, I tried to drive around her, and I ran out of gas!

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods? A: Ill never do that for two bucks again.

While critiquing a survey instrument intended for mothers of infants
less than one year old, I came across the following question:

Have you ever breast fed your baby?

a) Yes b) No c) Dont Know

Rednecks dont let friends drive drunk,they get drunk and ride with them.

Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice.

Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted.

Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

Sign in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

Sign on a Norfolk farm: Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two–one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

Why did the condom fly across the room

It got pissed off!

Se encuentran dos argentinos por la calle y el uno le dice al otro:

Como andas che, tanto tiempo, que es de tu vida.

Y mira, yo siempre bien, imaginate que el otro día estaba con una mina en la cama haciendo el amor y al pie de la cama tengo un crucifijo y Jesús desclavó las manos y empezó a aplaudir.

Bah, eso no es nada, en la mía tengo un cuadro de la última cena…

(lo interrumpe el otro)

Me vas a decir que te aplaudieron también.

No, nada de eso che, ellos me hicieron la ola.