Q: Whats the best job a dumb blonde ever had?
A: Vice-president of the United States.

9. Thy external identifiers shall be unique in the first six characters, though this harsh discipline be irksome and the years of its necessity stretch before thee seemingly without end, lest thou tear thy hair out and go mad on that fateful day when thou desirest to make thy program run on an old system.

A little boy named little Johny runs upto his mom from outside and says Mommy, can little girls have babies?

Oh course not replies the mom and starts chopping some onions.

Great! Then little Johny runs outside and yells ITS OK! WE CAN PLAY THE GAME AGAIN!

Llega un borracho a su casa, a las 4 a.m., cantando a todo pulmón; sale su mujer y le reclama:

¡Cállate, que todo el vecindario se va a despertar!

¿Y qué?, prefiero ser borracho conocido que alcohólico anónimo.

Oye Venancio, ¿quieres oír mi nuevo chiste?

Está bien Manolo, cuenta.

Di trece.

Trece.

¡La cola se te enverdece!

Venancio va fascinado con el chiste de Manolo y se encuentra a un amigo.

A ver, te voy a contar un chiste.

Bueno.

Di trece.

Trece.

¿Cómo iba? A ver, di otra vez trece.

Trece ¡caray!

Bueno, no me acuerdo como va, pero te va a salir una rama verde por el culo.

Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldnt drive…

Two Golfers were approaching the first tee.



The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend – Hey, why dont you try this ball. He draws a green golf ball out of his bag.

Use this one – You cant lose it!



His friend replies, What do you mean you cant lose it?!!

The first man replies, Im serious, you cant lose it.



If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it.



Obviously, his friend doesnt believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, Wow! Thats incredible! Where did you get that ball?



The man replies, I found it.



(Think about it… itll come to you

Q. What is the definition of confusion?

A. Two blind lesbians in a fish market.

What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl?

– Hey, little girl, you want to buy some candy?

Do you know why Mexicans eat refried beans?

– Have you ever heard of one doing something right the first time?