Old and New Jokes

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first but her attention is galvanised when she hears one of them say the following:

Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses they come together again. I come aain and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.

You foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed swine, says the lady indignantly. In this country we dont speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.

Hey coola down lady, said the man. Who talkinabouta sex? Im justa tellin my frienda how to spell Mississippi.

Why do farts smell? Its so as deaf people can enjoy them as well!.

A reportedly true story heard on Q107 yesterday:

A man was driving from his home up to Thunder Bay, Ontario to visit
friends. While there, he was involved in a collision with another car, but
the other driver left the scene of the accident. He reported it to the
police, who looked into it, and told him the next day that the car that hit
him was a stolen vehicle. The man was able to drive his pickup truck home,
only to find when he got home that, lo and behold, his car was stolen! Sure
enough, the car that hit him several hundred miles from home was his own.

Id just like to see if his insurance agent breaks down laughing or crying.

Why do men prefer blondes?

Men always like intellectual company.

Why dont witched wear underwear when they fly?