Old and New Jokes

Ive smoked fatter joints than that.
Ahhhhhhhh… its cute.
Why dont we just cuddle?
You know… they have surgery to fix that!
Make it dance for me.
Can I paint a smiley face on it?
Wow, and your feet are so big.
Its OK, well work around it.
Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
Oh no… a flash headache.
(Giggle and point.)
Can I be honest with you?
This explains your car.
Maybe if we water it, itll grow.
Why is God punishing me?
At least this wont take long.
I never saw one like that before.
But it still works, right?
It looks so unused.
Maybe it looks better in natural light.
Why dont we skip right to the cigarettes?
Are you cold?
If you get me real drunk first, then maybe…
Is that an optical illusion?
What is that?
Its a good thing you have so many other talents.
Does it come with an air pump?
So this is why youre supposed to judge people on personality.