Congratulations!

You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of
years on trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will destroy it via
some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR
GODS SAKE READ THIS OWNERS MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE! YOU
ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDNT YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT
ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE
SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEO CASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON FAST
FORWARD, THIS CHILD IS ALSO FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOURE JUST NOW
STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT JUST AS WELL JUST BREAK
THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?