FIRST THE ADS FROM WOMEN

40-ish……………… 48 Adventurer………….. Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic……………. Flat-chested Average looking……… Ugly Beautiful…………… Pathological liar Contagious Smile…….. Bring your penicillin Educated……………. College dropout Emotionally Secure…… Medicated Feminist……………. Fat; ball buster Free spirit…………. Substance user Friendship first…….. Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun………………… Annoying Gentle……………… Comatose Good Listener……….. Borderline Autistic New-Age…………….. All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned……….. Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded…………. Desperate Outgoing……………. Loud Passionate………….. Loud Poet……………….. Depressive Schzophrenic Professional………… Real Witch Redhead…………….. Shops the Clairol section Reubenesque…………. Grossly Fat Romantic……………. Looks better by candle light Voluptuous………….. Very Fat Weight proportional to height………………Hugely Fat Wants Soulmate………. One step away from stalking Widow………………. Nagged first husband to death Young at heart………. Toothless crone ——————————————————————-

THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

40-ish……………… 52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic……………. Sits on the couch and watches ESPN Average looking……… Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back Educated……………. Will always treat you like an idiot Free Spirit…………. Sleeps with your sister Friendship first…….. As long as friendship involves nudity Fun………………… Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking………… Arrogant Honest……………… Pathological Liar Huggable……………. Overweight, more body hair than a bear Like to cuddle………. Insecure, overly dependent Mature……………… Until you get to know him Open-minded…………. Wants to sleep with your sister but shes not interested Physically fit………. I spend a lot of time in front ofmirror admiring myself Poet……………….. Has written on a bathroom stall Spiritual…………… Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday Stable……………… Occasional stalker, but never arrested Thoughtful………….. Says Please when demanding a beer

Well there you have it, truth in advertising!