You know youve lost your status of Cool when:

You find yourself listening to talk radio.

You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.

The pattern on your shorts and couch match.

You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.

Your wife buys a flannel nighty and you find that sexy.

You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.

You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.

You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining them.

You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.

When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.

When jogging is something you do to your memory.

Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair. Sex becomes all that foolishness.

Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.

All the cars behind you turn on their headlights.

You remember the Rolling Stones as a rock group, not a corporation.

You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your sons new running shoes.

You actually ASK for your fathers advice.

You dont know how to operate a fax machine or a VCR.

When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.