Old and New Jokes

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: Its triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.2. Good: Your wifes not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: Shes a lawyer.3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: Hes involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: Hes in them.5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You cant find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: Hes a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you do.7. Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.8. Good: The postmans early.
Bad: Hes wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: Its another man.
Ugly: Hes your best friend.
10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.