Stumpy Grider and his Wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said Ya know Mahtha, Ahd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane.

Every year Martha would say, Ah know, Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs…and ten dollahs is ten dollahs.

So Stumpy says, By Jeebers Mahtha, Im 71 yeahs old, if I dont go this time I may nevah go.

Martha replies, Stumpy, that theah aihplane ride is ten dollahs…and ten dollahs is ten dollahs.

So the pilot overhears them and says, Folks, Ill make you a deal, Ill take you both up for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE word, I wont charge you, but just one word and its ten dollars.

They agree and up they go… the pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard; he does it one more time, still nothing… so fair is fair and he lands.

He turns to Stumpy as they come to a stop and says, By golly, I did everything I could think of to make you hollar out, but you didnt!

And Stumpy replies, Well, Ah was gonna say something when Mahtha theah fell out… but then, ten dollahs IS ten dollahs!