Old and New Jokes

Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.

And so, says St. Peter, have you ever had any contact with a penis?



Well, says the first nun in line, I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger. OK says St. Peter, Dip your finger in holy water and pass into heaven.



The next nun admits that Well yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged it a bit.



OK says St. Peter, Rinse your hand in holy water and pass on into heaven.



Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front.



Well now, whats going on in here? says St. Peter.



Well your excellency, says the nun who is trying to improve her position in line, if Im going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her ass in it.