Old and New Jokes

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.



How did this happen? the emergency room doctor asked her.



Well I was trying to commit suicide the blonde replied.



What? sputtered the doctor. You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off???



No silly! the blonde said. First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, Im not shooting myself in the chest.



So then? asked the doctor.



Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, Im not shooting myself in the mouth.



So then?



Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.