Old and New Jokes

Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys
Diatonic is a low-calorie Schwepps.
Agitato is your state of mind when your hand slips in the middle of a piece.
Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large – number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in the attic.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.
Do you know that if Beethoven were alive today, he would be celebrating the 165th anniversary of his death?
And of course these greatest hits – Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, and Gershwins Rap City in Blue. And Tchaikovskys Cracknutter Suite, of course.
Stradivarius sold his violins on the open market with no strings attached.
The principle singer of 19th century opera was called pre-madonna.
At one time, singers had to use musicians to accompany them. Since synthesizers came along, singers can now play with themselves.
All female parts were sung by castrati. We dont know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.
Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
An oboe is an American tramp.
The correct way to find the key of a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.