Old and New Jokes

Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees The President Must Die written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty pissed off. He storms into his security staffs HQ, and yells Somebody wrote a death threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Son-of-a-bitch had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?! The security guys stay silent and stare ashamedly at the floor.



Bill hollers Well dammit, dont just sit there! Get out and FIND OUT WHO DID IT! I want an answer, and I want it TONIGHT! The entire staff immediately jump up and race for the exits. Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says Well Mr. President, we have some bad news and we have some really bad news. Which do you want first? Clinton says Oh Hell, give me the bad news first.

The officer says Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Al Gores urine. Clinton says Oh my god, I feel so… so… betrayed! My own vice president! Damn. …Well, whats the really bad news? The officer replies Well, its Hillarys handwriting.