Old and New Jokes

An Irishman named OMalley went to his doctor after a long illness.
The doctor sighed and looked OMalley in the eye and said, Ive some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it cant be cured. Youd best put your affairs in order.
OMalley was shocked…. but being a solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctors office into the waiting room, where his son was waiting.
Well, Son, OMalley said, We Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things dont go well. In this case, things arent so well…. I have cancer. Lets head to the pub and have a few pints.
After 3 or 4 pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and some more beers. They were eventually approached by some of OMalleys friends who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.OMalley told them they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends,
I have been diagnosed with AIDS.
The friends gave OMalley their condolences, and they had a couple of more beers.
After the friends left, OMalleys son leaned over and whispered his confusion. Dad, I thought you told me that you were dying of cancer…. but you just told your friends that you were dying of AIDS!OMalley said, I dont want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I am gone.