Q: What is the Information Superhighway?

A: Its just like the internet, except:

its a lot more expensive.
you cant post and theres no killfile.
theres no alt.sex.* or alt.drugs
rec.humor.funny has a laugh track.
theres a commercial break every 10 minutes.
everything is formatted to 40 columns for TVs.
the free software costs you $2.00/megabyte to ftp, more for long distance.

A: Its just like cable TV, except:

its a lot more expensive.
the picture isnt as good.
theres 500 channels of Pay-per-View and home-shopping.
you can watch any episode of Gilligans Island or any Al Gore speech for only $2.00.
no public access channels.
theres a commercial break every 10 minutes.

A: Its just like renting videos, except:

its a lot more expensive.
theres only 1/100th as many to choose from.
no porno.
theres no pause, fast-forward, or rewind, and it costs
you another $3.95 if you want to watch twice.
theres a commercial break every 10 minutes.

A: Its just like the telephone, except:

its a lot more expensive.
theres no one to talk to.
theres a commercial break every 10 minutes.
every number is a toll call.