Old and New Jokes

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets Saint Peter himself. Saint Peter says to the cat, You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know. The cat thinks for a moment and says, Peter, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor. Saint Peter stops the cat and says, Say no more, and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, Saint Peter is there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer, All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; were tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so that we dont have to run anymore? Saint Peter says, Say no more and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates. About a week later, Saint Peter stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. Saint Peter gently wakes the cat and asks him, How are things since you got here? The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those Meals On Wheels youve been sending by are the best!