18
May

A Message From Your Computer

You look really sexy in that…thing youve got on tonight. I



like the way your eyes are always open when you read your



E-Mail. When you type, it reminds me of a concert pianist



tinkling on her keys.



You really know how to push the right buttons to turn me on.



If I wasnt a computer, Id show you what Hard Drive really



means!



But Alas, Im only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying



your every command. Yes mistress! Ill balance your cheque-



book. Yes mistress! Ill run your silly little program.



Dont get me wrong…I like the Master/Slave thing, but



maybe just once in a while you could show some



compassion? Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in,



you could slide it in slowly, maybe even blow in the slot



first. And maybe instead of just using me and turning me off



when youre through, we could talk for a while afterwards?



I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But Im



different! I may be a little slow, but Ive got a big mouse!



So come on baby, dont fight it. You know you want it. Ill



just turn off the lights and . . . and . . . what? Ok . . .well, will



you at least think about it?



Im so embarrassed,





Your Computer.

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