18
Dec

All in a days work

Dear diary, there just arent enough hours in the day get everything done in the office. For example:

9:05

Attended meeting to discuss how far weve progressed since the last meeting. A decision was not forthcoming about exactly what we should be carrying forward to the next meeting. The date of the next meeting would be verified after consultation with all parties in attendance – individually – at their convenience.

10:00

Opened mail to discover minutes of a meeting that had absolutely no connection with my work whatsoever. Forwarded the minutes to my boss after entering unsolicited internal mail in relevant statistics column on monthly sheet.

10:30

Checked e-mail and found unsavory message, promising me a money back guarantee and improved circulation. Was helped back to my chair by colleague so that I was able to hit delete button and regain my composure.

11:00

Checked e-mail to find provisional dates for next meeting. Checked my calendar to find I was provisionally booked for other meetings on both dates.

11:30

About to make a start when I received a call from on high.

12:00

Returned to desk after explaining why I was wasting time reading unsavory e-mail.

12:15

Sold the car and raised enough to buy lunch in the Staff Club.

1:00

Lunch

2:00

Went in search of some missing correspondence. Bumped into colleague from 9:05 meeting and grumbled about the waste of time, squandered resources, the price of fish etc.

3:00

Located missing correspondence. Arranged discrete disposal of same. Got caught by someone with a sponsor sheet. Promised them ten dollars if their twelve-year old completes twenty lengths of the school pool. Offered another twenty dollars if they promised not to mention the fact that they had witnessed disposal of correspondence.

4:00

Attended meeting to discuss risk assessment. For instance, was there anything lying about the office which was potentially dangerous.

5:00

Left office after receiving e-mail about a proposed meeting for later in the week. Left the building after walking into a door-post. Offered a weak theory to puzzled onlookers, that it was inconceivable for something that was neither wall nor door to possibly have injured me. Made for the car with my head down. Reached where the car should have been before remembering that I had sold it.

I suppose I must lead what some people would consider to be a full life!

Dave

Most viewed Jokes (20)