An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are all boasting to each other about
presents they have bought their wives for their birthdays.

The Englishman says Ive bought my wife a 24-carot gold ring and a
glove.

Why have you got her a glove? the other two ask.

Because when she wears the ring in public, I want her to wear the glove
so no-one can nick it off her finger he replies.

The Scotsman is not impressed and proudly braggs Ive got my wife a
diamond necklace and a scarf.
The other two, slightly confused, ask Whats the scarf for?
So that when she wears it in crowded places, she can put the scarf around
her neck to prevent it being snatched the Scotsman replies.

The Englishman and Scotsman, both feeling proud at their gifts, were keen
to hear
what the Irishman had bought his wife and invited him to tell them.
Well, I got her a pair of shoes and a vibrator he says.

The others, slightly taken aback, ask him why he bought the vibrator, to
which he
replies Cos if she doesnt like the shoes she can go screw herself!