Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Page 11, Anderson

Dear Pastor, Im sorry I cant leave more money in the plate, but my father didnt give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany

Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother wont be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago

Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota

Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City

Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Athens

Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need Gods help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I dont think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville

Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron

Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston

A plane was once flying over an island when the passengers heard the pilots voice: “Ladies & Gentlemen, if you look on the right side of the plane, youll see an engine on fire. If you look on the left side, youll see a wing on fire. And if you look down, youll see me and my co-pilot in parachutes, waving at you. This is a recording.”

There came a big flood, and the water around Bholas house was rising steadily..

Bhola was standing on the porch, watching water rising all around him, when a man in a boat came along and called to Bhola, Get in the boat and Ill get you out of here. Bhola replied, No thanks, God will save me.

Bhola went into the house, and the water was starting to pour in. So, he went up to the second floor.

As he looked out, another man in a boat came along, and he called to Bhola, Get in the boat and Ill get you out of here.

Again, Bhola replied, No thanks. God will save me.

The water kept rising. So, Bhola got out onto the roof.

A helicopter flew over, and the pilot called down to Bhola, Ill drop you a rope,grab onto it, and Ill get you out of here.

Again Bhola replied, No thanks. God will save me.

The water rose and rose, and soon nearly covered the whole house. Bhola fell in, and drowned.

When he arrived in Heaven, he saw God, and asked Him, Why didnt you save me from that terrible flood? Did I not show you my faith?

With a loving but irritated tone God replied, What more would you have me do? I sent people in two boats and a helicopter?

It was a No Frills airline:

• They didnt sell tickets, they sold chances

• All the insurance machines in the terminal were sold out

• Before the flight, the passengers got together and elected a pilot

• If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back

• You could not board the plane unless you had the exact change

• Before we took off, the stewardess told us to fasten our Velcro

• The Captain asked all the passengers to chip in a little for gas

• When they pulled the steps away, the plane started rocking

• The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway

• You ask the Captain how often their planes crash. He sez, Just once

• No movie. Didnt need one. Your life kept flashing before your eyes

• You see a man with a gun, but hes demanding to be let off the plane

• All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel

An American pilot who had downed a German Messerschmidt, visited the German
pilot in the field hospital. Finding the fellow in pretty bad shape, the
American asked if he could do anything for him.

The Nazi admitted that he did have a favour to ask. The leg they amputated, on
your next bombing run, could you drop it over Germany?

Sure, pal.

It was a pretty weird request, but the pilot was happy to oblige and came back
to tell him the mission had been carried out.

The grateful German gasped his thanks, and another request. The other leg got
very bad, they had to cut it off. Could this, too, be dropped over my homeland?
It would mean a great deal to me.

The American shrugged, but returned two days later with the news that the job
was done.

Many thanks, whispered the downed Nazi, now ashen faced and unable to lift his
head from the pillow. I have just one final request. Last night they had to
amputate my right arm…

Now hang on just a darn minute, interrupted the American angrily. Are you
trying to escape?

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad so he the German doctor amputated his arm. He had a request that they would drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did. Then next week they amputated his other arm and he asked for the same thing. So the Germans did. The next week they amputated his leg and he again asked for them to drop it over his base in England. The German doctor replied, “Nein, Ve do dis no more!” The pilot asked why not, and the German answered, “Ve tink you trying to escape!”

An elderly doctor and a Presbyterian minister were seated next to each other on the plane. The plane was delayed at the start due to some technical problems.

Just after taking off, the pilot offered his apologies to the passengers and announced that a round of free drinks would be served.

When the charming air-hostess came round with the trolley, the doctor ordered a gin and tonic for himself. The hostess then asked the minister whether he wanted anything.

He replied – Oh No! – thank you. I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol.

The elderly doctor promptly handed back his gin and tonic to the air-hostess saying … Madam – I did not know there was a choice.

Taken from this mornings Metro (7th June, London, UK):

A friendly greeting caused a major airport security alert when a man called Hi, Jack to a colleague on board an aircraft.

A SWAT team and dozens of police reinforcements were called to the Oakland International Airport near Detroit in the US.

Lt. Rick Crigger said, There was a guy on the plane named Jack, and someone walked in and said, Hi Jack. The mike just happened to be open and the tower heard it.

Thinking someone was hijacking the corporate jet, the FBI as well as police were called to prepare for a hostage situation. Air traffic controllers ordered the plane to return to the tower but, after a quick check on the identity of the pilot, the jet was cleared for take off.