Q: What do you call a smart blonde?

A1: A golden retriever.

A2: A labrador.

A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day, the foreman told her. The blonde woman didnt see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back sweating like a pig. Christ, how many trees did you cut down? asked the foreman. 6 she replied. What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tommorow. The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. How many this time? asked the foreman. 12 she said. The foreman says, That does it. Im coming out there with you tommorow morning.The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, This is how to cut down trees really quickly. He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her whats wrong. She replies, Whats that noise?

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the towns name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly. The blonde leaned over and said Burrrrrrr Gurrrrrr Kingggg.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldnt. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, Hurry up! Its starting to rain and the top is down.

A
young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the
worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high
prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming
very frustrated with the no haggle attitude of
one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, Maybe
Ill just go out and catch my own alligator so I
can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!

The shopkeeper said, By all means, be my guest. Maybe youll luck out and catch
yourself a big one!

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself
an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots
the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes
aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp
bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator
on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, Damn it, this one isnt wearing any
shoes either!

A: She fell out of the tree.

Three women are about to be executed. Ones a brunette, ones a redhead, and ones a blonde.

The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready!…Aim!! …



Suddenly the brunette yells, EARTHQUAKE!!! Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes.



The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, Ready! … Aim!!…



Suddenly the redhead yells, TORNADO!!! Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes.



By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! … Aim!! …



…and the blonde yells, FIRE!!!

Why did the Blonde cross the road? Who cares, what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen!

Why did the blonde have lipstick on her stearing wheel?

She was trying to blow the horn!

Why did the blonde helicopter pilot die?

Whe got cold, so she turned off that big fan on the roof.