Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?



A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up ? A: The pregnant woman… the other two arent real !

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?

A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

Very good, said her mother.

Is it because Im blonde, Mommy?

Yes, its because youre blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

Mommy, Mommy, She yelled, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.

See? a, b, c, d, e, f, g!

Very good, said her mother.

Is it because Im blonde, Mommy?

Yes, its because youre blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

Very good, said her embarrassed mother.

Is it because Im blonde, mommy?

No, its because youre 25.

Q. What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?

A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?

A. Cause it said concentrate.

Q. Whats the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?

A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

A. The joystick is wet.

Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?

A. To keep their ankles warm.

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?

A. An interpreter.

Q. Whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A. The brick doesnt follow you home after you lay it.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?

A. She sold her car for it…

Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A. Are you sure its mine?

A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED.

Yes.

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldnt get her brand new 22 ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldnt get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.



A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black.

So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to this intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass.

While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd – If I can guess how many sheep you got there, would you give me one?

He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed 487. The shepherd said WOW! Thats right…well…take any sheep you like…a deals a deal

So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepehrd says WAIT!

Now I have a deal for you…. if I guess the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?