What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!

Q: Whats the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?

A: The prostitute thinks, Arent you done yet?

The nympho thinks, Are you done already?

The blonde thinks, Beige… I think Ill paint the ceiling beige.

One day a red-head, a burnette and a blond were walking on the beach when the trip over a magic mirrior.

This little face pops out at them and says if the can tell him one true thrue thing about themselves they can have anyhting they desire.

But if they lie he will turn them into a frog. So the red-head goes first,I think I am the smartest person in the world.


The mirrior said that she could have anything she disired and she wanted a thousand dollars and she got it.

Now it was the burnettes turn and she said,I think I am the second smartest person in the world and the mirrior she could have anything she disired. She wanted a million dollars and she got it.

Finally it was the blondes turn. She stepped up to the mirrior and said,Let me get this straight, all I gotta do is say one true thing about myself and then I get what ever I desire.

The mirrior said that that was correct, but if it was a lie he would turn her into a frog. She started to say what she thought was true about herself, I think….. and the mirrior turned her into a frog.

Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?
A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the instant pudding setting button.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?

A: 144 blondes.

Why do blondes like BMWs? Cause they can spell it!

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it? She thought for a time and then asked, Is it on or off?

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline)



Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.



One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lindas eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that shed been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.



The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.



A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.



And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

This blonde was walking down a road, when this guy came along. The blond was carrying a bag. The guy goes, What are you carrying? She goes, Melons. The guy goes, Cool. if I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them? The blonde giggles and goes, If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!