How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Q: What do you get when you cross a 1-legged Polak with a Mongoloid?

A: A Polaroid One-Step.

Why does a Jewish American Princess wear a gold diaphragm?

So her boyfriend will think he is coming into money.

One day a Scottish guy and his girlfreind were walking when the Scottish guy says, You want to hold my hand, dont you?

The girlfriend replies, How can you possibly know that?, and the guy goes, The twinkle in your eye.

So, they hold hands for a bit, but a little while later the guy goes, You want to kiss me, dont you? and she goes, How can you possibly know that?, to which he replies, The twinkle in your eye. Sure enough, he is given a kiss by the lass.

Finally, the date is over, and the girl says you want to make love to me, dont you?

He says, How can you possibly know that? Is it the twinkle in my eye?

She says, No, its the tilt in your kilt.

Once upon a time NASA decided to send three astronauts to space for two years.

One was American, One was Russian and the other was English.

NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each.

The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German, and the Russian decided to take along cigarettes.

Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home.

First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms.

Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause.

Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked Has anyone got a match?

There were 3 men: 1 white man, 1 black man, 1 mexican. They all came up to a magical bridge. There was a sign and it said jump of and wish for anything and you will turn into it. The Mexican went first and jumped of and wished for money, and he turned into a bag of money. The black man went second and jumped of and wished for a car and he turned into a car. The white man decided he didnt need anything so he walked across and tripped over a loose board fell off and said crap!

(Q.)Why do mexicans eat tamales for christmas?

(A.)So they have something to unwrap

Why do [ethnics] wear long dresses?

To hide the pest strips.

Four guys are flying to Japan in their own jet. Ones a Texan, ones a Mexican, ones is a French man, and the other is an Englishman. A radio transmission says to throw out all the luggage because there is too much weight to land. So they do. Then they get another transmission that says three will have to jump out because there is still too much weight. So the French man goes to the door and says. Viva Le France. and he jumps. The Englishman says, Long live the King. and he jumps out. So the Texan and the Mexican go to the door. They look at each other, and the Texan grabs the Mexican and throws him out the door and says, Remember the Alamo!

What do true rednecks do on Halloween?

– Pump kin.