One day God came down from heaven and came to the Pope. God looked at the Pope
and said, Do not be afraid, this is just a little survey I take of all the
Popes. The first question I have of you is: do you think that priests will ever
be able to get married?

The Pope answered, Ah, no, not in my life time.

God said, Okay, the next question is: do you think there should be women
priests?

The Pope answered, Ah, no, not in my life time.

God said, Okay, my last question is: do you think the Roman Catholic church
should approve birth control?

The Pope answered, Ah, no, not in my life time.

God said, Okay, thank you very much for your time.

As God turned and started to leave, the Pope said, Lord, may I ask you one
question?

God turned back to the Pope and said, Sure, you answered mine, what would you
like to know?

The Pope said, As you know, I am very patriotic, and I was wondering whether
there would ever be another Polish pope?

God answered, Ah, no, not in my life time.

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the
Chicken Surprise…
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron
pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around
before the lid slams back down.
Good grief, did you see that? she asks her husband.
He hadnt, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and
again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it
slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening,
and demands an explanation.
Please sir, says the waiter, what you order ??
The husband replies, Chicken SurpriseAh…so sorry, says the waiter, I bring you Peeking Duck

SSC + HSC + BMS + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT

An Idea + An Idiot = A Dotcom

One Chinese gymnast = Indias Gold Medal tally since 1896

4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand = 4 minute song in Bollywood

Rona Dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mums favourite serials

Star Movies – Rerun + Good Movies = HBO

Amitabh Bachchan – Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR

Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan = Abhishek Bachchan – Talent

Atal Bihari + Bad knee = Is this our LAST HOPE?

Have you heard of the new all-black version of a Shakespearean comedy
called As You Likes It?

Jay Leno monologue, Britney spears wrecked her $200,000 Ferrari after she downshifted into second gear going 85 miles an hour. But never any danger of her gettin hurt. She wasnt hurt cause luckily, both her and the car have the dual air bags, so theyre fine.

One Christmas, a little Italian boy sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, “Dear baby Jesus. I have been a good boy mosta of the year so I want a new…” He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, “Dear baby Jesus. I have been a good boy for the whole year so I want a new….” He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mothers room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it into the closet and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, “Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again….”

What do you call a Mexican who has had a vasectomy?

– Dry Martino.

Whats Irish and comes out in the spring?
Paddy OFurniture!

Q: What is an Israeli sea captain called?

A: Yom Skipper

In some sections of Miami, Cuban tuffs never ask the tourists what time it is – they just take their watches.

The Englishmans paramour told him she was pregnant, and said, If you do not marry me, I shall kill myself.

Oh I say! replied her lover, You really are a decent sort.

The people of Jamaica are proud of their heritage of mixed blood. The other week, there was a race riot in Kingston, and the majority of the crowd couldnt figure out who to scream at.

A friend of mine, a young Chinese girl, recently opened a restaurant in Columbia. I asked her what she thought of Red China. She said, You have to have the right tablecloth.

An Arab looked at his land. It was barren, not a drop of water or even a cloud in sight.

Allah is good. Allah is great. he intoned. But Allah doesnt know a damn thing about farming.

Large cities such as New York may be melting pots, but some of the inhabitants still remain a lil tuff.

Two Puerto Ricans robbed a bank and were mugged by a group of Russian Mafia on the way to their get-away car.

A woman slipped over the edge of her balcony and landed unconscious on the grass below.

A passing Frenchman commented, Such sottise. Zese Americans are so extravagant. She was probably good for another year or two.

Did you hear about how the [ethnic] hockey team drowned?

Spring Training.